nada dura

Sometimes I wonder why do I want to put myself in this situation? Why can't I just stop myself for having feelings. I believed it's because I'm too used to be with someone since young and it's not my parents at all it's him so now when he's not here anymore I feel empty but my friends can't always meet me every single day but I just get sicked of being alone and I'm such a terrible person I either want it all or I don't want it at all. I'm unreasonable and I'm not acting like my age. I don't know who can really accept me because I doubt there will be anyone in bear future I need another break if this don't work out at the end of the year? Or even earlier? I need to change this is what I I really should do no one can help me. Everyone gets tired of telling me and I'm still not doing it.