r/s

hello how's everyone out there? Think it's just a dying space here. nevertheless i'm still going to pen down my thoughts and all. As usual it's the exams period yet again. Time flies really fast and it's almost a year since my last break up from a 6 years r/s. I'm a stronger person and not someone that's going to give in so much anymore. Knowing what's good and bad for me, what's a healthy r/s should be too and knowing when is the right time to leave the person if he's not the right one. Not saying that my previous r/s was really bad but blame no one only myself for being the one that loving someone so deeply that i cant leave even though it's unhealthy for me too... 'Blinded by love' this is what all of us or rather most of  the girls will go thru once but mine took me really long to get out of it and it's really difficult for me even i know how bad/unhealthy it is because all i know is that i love that someone so much and i just cant afford to leave. i didnt want to get married to him and i knew it. I kept telling my myself that when the right time come i will eventually let go of everything. 

He did asked me to BTO but i know that i wont want him to be my husband or the man that i must face over the next 60 years. It's scary and terrifying to have him what he've done i just cant handle it. Flashes back almost every single time when i feel sad and when we quarreled. I should have listened to him last 4 years when he didnt want to cont anymore and me being stubborn and totally into him just got blinded. Making my friends and parents that cared about me hurts. 

After all these, i thank him and we will still be friends, he's a nice friend i can say maybe we just have to crosspath each other life. 

I've a really good boyfriend now and he's my primary school friends. we see each other grew up for the past 13 years. Thanks for loving me so much and i will treasure you. You might not be able to see this because you dont even know this space exist anymore but i'm so glad we've found each other.